I CRAVE Novelty

I lose interest in people fairly quickly. I don’t try to, it just happens… I meet them and I’m attracted and I genuinely like them as a person. I learn about them and what makes them interesting to me. But then, all of a sudden I feel like I’ve figured them out and they “fall for my tricks” I’ve never believed that I was intentionally manipulating people, but part of my self-discovery has been that I very much do.
It isn’t just people, it comes the same way with subjects and media. I get fascinated. I get obsessed. It’s like this is what I have been searching for my whole life, and I love talking and hearing about it. Then, one day I’m just done and move on to the next thing/subject/person.
I don’t watch replays and I don’t re-read. I already have the information, I already
know it. Why get the same information/experience twice and when there is so much out there in the world that I don’t know!
The fact that these are genuine feelings that I don’t intentionally try to feel or try to think is what gives me problem with relationships to other people. Obviously when people get attached to me they don’t like that I am attached until that day when I am not as interested anymore as I once was. I still love it/them, just not in the same capacity.
I don’t feel wrong for feeling how I do because these are my feelings. This is how I’m experiencing life. I tell people my feelings and how I am at the beginning so there no surprises. I don’t think that it makes it any easier though. Still at the end of the day when I look at people who are hurt over me…

i'd hate me

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2 comments

  1. Hello! You currently follow my blog, The Siren’s Tale (http://thesirenstale.com). Just wanted to let you know I ended that blog + started a new blog named: Belong With Wildflowers. I’d love to have you follow my new blog as well, please stop on over for a visit: http://belongwithwildflowers.com 🙂

    You can follow my new blog through email subscription, RSS, Bloglovin’, or any other blog reader. Hope you’re having a great week! –Caitlin

  2. As someone who has loved you(and still does for that matter) I think I finally understand you. We’ve grown together and I too have obsessed over you, became attached to you. I have loved you with such intensity I thought it couldn’t possibly be real, and I knew it couldn’t possibly end well. You are a flawed creature, but aren’t we all? We all get bored at some point, nothing can truly capture our attention for a long period of time. But I believe that’s where the beauty lies. In that instant we are so wrapped up in it, whatever it is. We become linked to this thing unable to free ourselves, with no real desire to do so. But when the intensity finally dies down, I believe we are in a state of denial were we try to hold on to something that has clearly died. This is not some hamartia within you, but within all of us. You are right to not be sorry for the way you feel. You are honest and brave. Not many of us can do that. I admire you Sir, you and all your flaws. Though I know a time will come where you grow tired of me as well, I must say…It has been a privilege to have my heart broken by you. 🙂

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