depression

My blogging experience

I enjoy reading blogs, especially about PCVs (Peace Corps Volunteers). This is what my future holds and these are the people who I will become.

I think maybe I am looking for the insight into another person’s struggle through life. On any other social network, everything is dolled-up for the pictures of Instagram or Facebook and Twitter’s character limit to me can only get across jokes and punch lines. Tumblr gives me more of a view into someone else’s life, but it is too saturated by gifs and arguments (although i will spend HOURS on there with all the porn, comical stuff, and crazy stuff that i love!)

Here on WordPress the only tags I’ve searched for are Peace Corps, Guinea, and break ups.Even if writing about things help, I still need to know that there are other people like me. I still need to read from their experiences first hand, this is the reason why I write exactly how I feel. It is not only for myself to express how i feel right now, but it is for another person who might come across it also.

There are a lot of things that go on up in my head that I’m not sure are completely normal. If there are other people having the same experiences then at least them and I would both know that we aren’t as different from everyone else as we think that we might be.

Kelsang quote

I am going to the Peace Corps and i would like to know if they have struggled with these things before leaving also. Can I really help other people if I can’t even help myself from continuously falling into a mini-depression?

Drowning

I have never been resilient. Everything sets me back. Other people seem to take break-ups, losses, and moving-on just a lot better compared to me. I was listening to the TED Talk “Depression, the Secret we Share” by Andrew Solomon, I remember hearing again that depression is usually ran genetically. Maybe i’m just like my sister and just like my mother, bipolar. My mood is constantly changing, and for right now it seems to be just hangs around the borderline of bursting into tears all day every day. I’m just sad. I have my best friend here but he is usually occupied. I’m no longer with my ex but everything reminds me of her. My current closest friend lives all the way on the other side of the country. I’m not sure what to do. I feel as if i usually ignore my feelings with sex or being with another person, but I just want to resolve these feelings and continue on with my life.

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