love

I CRAVE Novelty

I lose interest in people fairly quickly. I don’t try to, it just happens… I meet them and I’m attracted and I genuinely like them as a person. I learn about them and what makes them interesting to me. But then, all of a sudden I feel like I’ve figured them out and they “fall for my tricks” I’ve never believed that I was intentionally manipulating people, but part of my self-discovery has been that I very much do.
It isn’t just people, it comes the same way with subjects and media. I get fascinated. I get obsessed. It’s like this is what I have been searching for my whole life, and I love talking and hearing about it. Then, one day I’m just done and move on to the next thing/subject/person.
I don’t watch replays and I don’t re-read. I already have the information, I already
know it. Why get the same information/experience twice and when there is so much out there in the world that I don’t know!
The fact that these are genuine feelings that I don’t intentionally try to feel or try to think is what gives me problem with relationships to other people. Obviously when people get attached to me they don’t like that I am attached until that day when I am not as interested anymore as I once was. I still love it/them, just not in the same capacity.
I don’t feel wrong for feeling how I do because these are my feelings. This is how I’m experiencing life. I tell people my feelings and how I am at the beginning so there┬áno surprises. I don’t think that it makes it any easier though. Still at the end of the day when I look at people who are hurt over me…

i'd hate me